Will type for enlightenment

(Taken with my iPhone)

Depending on how you know me, my name is either Elena or Jean Ai. I was born 24-and-something years ago, nothing remarkable. Grew up with loving parents, Malaysian family, went to a great school and an equally great university. Graduated with a BSc (Hons) in Psychology, worked in the criminal justice system for a year in London, then moved back to Malaysia.

As you can see, my life is nothing special. I’m nothing special. Sure, I’ve had privileges in my life but other than that, I’m just like everyone else.

Just like you.

What makes me special, what makes me different is who I know and what I do. And that started over a decade ago.

Over a decade ago, the biggest break in my life came – my parents met Rinpoche on a trip to India. Then came my next biggest break – Rinpoche came to teach in Malaysia. And then my next – my mum and dad decided it was a good thing to follow Rinpoche’s teachings and instructions.

You see, I don’t count other things as lucky breaks because they never really set the course of my life, or brought me happiness.

So I guess what I am trying to say is this – I am lucky, I am special, I am happy, I am blessed because I have Rinpoche.

I live in Rinpoche’s generosity. Like literally live in it – my room was sponsored by him, my job is thanks to him, my future is because of him.

And for most of my life, what equipment I have had to do my ‘job’ has been because of him.

Just like today.

It’s not that my mum and dad can’t afford to give me presents but you see, I actually have three parents and between them, I have never had to go without (and that’s not something I take lightly).

So back to today…today we had an ad hoc trip to Pavilion after visiting some fish tank manufacturers. After lunch, whilst walking through the mall, Rinpoche conspired with Beng Kooi to give me a surprise gift, that laptop you see above.

So what makes me special? It’s not me, I’m nothing special. What makes me special is Rinpoche. The chances that he gives me to make something of my life is what makes me special. The people I work with make me special, like my ‘boss’ Beng Kooi who cried when I received the laptop.

More than the laptop, I appreciate the trust from Rinpoche to get me such a present, trusting me not to abuse it and to make good use of it. And I appreciate Beng Kooi who said I deserved it, which also embarrassed me as it comes from someone who works herself to the bone.

I don’t know what else to say apart from ‘thank you’ which always seems a bit weak in light of the great kindness that Rinpoche always shows me, my family, my friends and everyone else.

In using this laptop though, I will constantly be reminded of the responsibility I have to shed my anger and my impatience and my discomforts. It’s a responsibility towards people I want to help, towards my karma, towards my dharma brothers and sisters, towards my parents and towards Rinpoche.

So thank you Rinpoche, for giving me the real gift of gratitude and responsibility, packaged in the form of a laptop I will use to become that thousand-armed Chenrezig 🙂

childhood, compassion, family, gift, gratitude, photo, responsibility, Tsem Tulku Rinpoche Life in Kechara: Behind The Scenes